SHOUT!

Every now and then, I will meet some people in my life where I would like to tell them to SHUT UP for a second, or 'Hey! Can you at play the piano softer? I feel sorry for the piano, you know? Because it hurts me to see it get hurt with all your banging.' Not really a rude manner, but in a 'Can-you-please-be-more-quiet?-I'm-trying-to-do-something-here' or 'Stop-seeking-attention-because-people-noticed-you-and just-didn't-want-to care' or 'Hey-turn-down-the-volume-a-notch-will-you' manner...

BUT because I have to be seen as someone who treats people with respect and manners, I just kept my mouth shut for most of the time. Not because I can tolerate the volume that is so loud that people miles away can hear you, but it's because I have to keep quiet in order not to offend you.

Some people, may seem to be older than most of us are, but they still act like they are a primary school kid! Shouting out the answer every time the teacher asks a questions (Even more annoying that Hermione Granger is when she does that), kept complaining about how cold is it to everybody as if people don't already know, having us chuckle at the lame jokes, asks stupidly simple questions that are really common sense and have never ending complains about how the food is cooked. Too oily, too little vegetables, too salty, too this, too that.... But, we just have to be patient with people like that.

In other cases, I would like to just shout out to people who had just wasted my time or just offended me. But instead, I just have to smile and chuckle nervously, saying "It's ok. It's alright. I'm fine with it." when I'm actually not... What I would like to say but can't is, "No! I'm not ok with that! How could you made me do this when I don't have to?" For example, recently, I was asked to help a ballet teacher accompany their dance exams which is in 2 weeks time, by playing the music given by them on the piano and the teacher, will of course pay me. Like I've mentioned in my previous post, it's because of that attractive pay that I decided to take the job but realized that I've bit off more than I can chew. So I've let go most of the grades that I play for and just focus on one grade, which is the higher grade ones and in which the teacher is more worried about. So I've practiced long and hard, trying to impress the teacher and myself at the same time by mastering the pieces which are not as easy, in a short period of time. Following the speed and learn to continue playing even when I messed it up. BUT (Sorry, there seem to be lots of 'but' in my post this time), the teacher just texted me today, saying, 'I've found another pianist to take your job as the exam pianist but you still have to play for the mock exam on Friday.' like I have not been practicing at all and screwed up the whole dance lesson when I play! But then again, because I have to treat people with respect and manners and won't be called a nuisance or a stuck-up, I again, just have to endure with it and 'Sure, okay. I'm fine with it.' leaving me with nothing but a $54 cheque, self-disappointment and being in doubt of my own music skills, after hours spent at the piano for the past 2 weeks to satisfy her needs of the ballet teacher. I won't say that it's a complete waste of my time as I had learnt a thing or two about ballet accompanying throughout the whole experience, but I would rather spend time doing more important stuff, like, Hmm... Gee, I don't know, school work, perhaps? My assignment was postponed because of this whole practicing for ballet accompaniment stuff and got a long lecture from my lecturer telling me that I've wasted 5 hours a day, doing nothing! D: Which also left me wondering, what DID I do for the 5 hours everyday? I don't remember staring at the ceiling, doing nothing at all for 5 hours.. Hmmm...

But hey, other than myself, I'm sure everyone out there at least had one of these moments mentioned above but didn't want to speak out because of our so called 'modesty' and 'manners'?

Nonetheless, after all my blabbering, I will still be who I am used to be. Someone who smiles, tolerates, nods or sometimes shakes my head in 'agreement' with things that I don't even agree on, because I was taught this way by myself so that no one is offended and everyone's happy. Unless things just HAD to be done the other way round, no excuses.

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