1 year down, 2 more to go.

In less than 48 hours, I will be back where I had been spending most of my time last year, Singapore. And in a few more days, I will be a First year student studying at LASALLE College of the Arts, although I'd like to call myself a Sophomore because it will be my second year there this academic year.

Time flies. It had already been almost a year since I've moved to Singapore.

After living there, alone, for a year, I've come to realize a lot of things that I don't seem to comprehend and appreciate for the last 18 years of my life.

First, obviously, I had miss my home. I had missed the feeling of being at home, feeling protected and secure, have food served on the table during mealtimes, running around the house with my 3 dogs, cuddling and fooling around with my dogs, the talk of how my day went between my family members during mealtimes, help my mum preparing meals, the freedom to play the guitar or the piano at any time of the day without bothering others, the freedom to even play the piano at the comfort of my own home, air conditioning, hot water baths, the freedom to read my books that I didn't bring over whenever I need to, evening walks with my family, going to the swimming pool with my family, missing out on special moments and occasions in my family, the freedom to drive wherever I want to, the freedom to sing out loud in the car... ... and the list goes on and on in my head. But most of all, I will miss the feeling of being HOME.

Teddy, my dog, will be giving birth to puppies soon, but since I will be leaving for Singapore this Saturday, I'm sure to miss this special occasion of witnessing the 3rd generation of puppies grow up like how I watched Teddy grow. Thinking of this alone makes my heart ache as I want to be here to watch the puppies open their eyes for the first time so, so much! Like how when Whisky, the Husky, first came home, I was so desperate to see him for the first time when I get to fly home, 2 months after he came. And when my previous Shihtzu ran away from home and I was thinking that I would have been able to stop him from running away if I were home and also hoped to witness the day my dad brought J. J. home.

I will miss the drawer full of kitchen utensils that I have in my kitchen and I will miss the whole cabinet of cups, plates and bowls. Because all I get to use when I'm in Singapore, is 1 bowl, 1 spoon, 1 fork, 1 cup and 1 pair of chopsticks. Only one set. One is a lonely number, and I thought I was those people who like to be alone rather than be in a big crowd. I will have to eat alone, walk home alone, take the bus alone and have no one to talk to about how my day went at the end of the day. I could always call them, I know. But nothing beats talking about my day face-to-face and having to see the reactions on their faces.

I will have to go through this for the next few years of my life and longing to have a date to look forward to when I get to come home. I doubt that I will ever get used to this feeling of emptiness every single time I reach my home in Singapore. As I open the door to the dark, empty room that I had eagerly left a month ago, the feeling of homesickness will start to overflow and spill after holding it in since the second I step out of my home in Malaysia, wondering when will I get to come home the next time. What will change during my time away from home? What will happen during my absence? What new dishes did my mum learn to cook while I was away? What evil plans did my little brother managed to carry out that will make my parents frown? What did trouble did my dogs get into?

I may only get to hear all of those stories through the phone calls back home, but I will have to wait a little longer to get to see the expressions of my family and laugh when they talk about it again.

Sometimes, I regret coming out all the way from home to study in Singapore and miss out on all of that. Technically speaking, it isn't far from home at all, but still, it's 6 hours worth of car ride away.

So here I am, trying to live in the moment, the now, that I know I will miss and I am trying to soak up all the remaining time I have that, hopefully, will be enough to last me 5 months, the minimum, before I get to come home again. I'm not even in Singapore now yet, but I'm already feeling homesick.

One year down, two, or more years to go.

On the bright side of things, I've enjoyed my time in school last year, and this year might be a whole new adventure and who knows what the future might bring. :)

Here's to a whole new life to look forward to.

Personalized EZ-Link card!

Ok, firstly I would say that my previous post is all about my rants and my apologize to you if you find it boring, or offensive in a way, because I wasn't really having a good start today. But please don't take it seriously! :D *Smiley face~*

In Singapore, they have this thing called the EZ-Link card, where you use it to take the trains or the buses after you top it up with cash. So, there are some people who sells something like a sticker in which you can stick it onto the card to personalize it, sin

ce all the cards here look the same, other than the color of it.

Initially, I didn't have an EZ - Link card but on the day that I was in the Changi Airport MRT station after flying back from Malaysia after my cousin's wedding, not that I want to specify this but it's Valentine's Day (Hahaha..), I got a free EZ-Link from a total random foreigner, stranger who was on his way back to his home country, I guess, looked at me for a second then gave me his EZ - Link card saying, 'There's still maybe $4 of credit in this card.' At first, I was like, Huh?? Then I got it and said, 'Thank you!' What a kind, generous, total random foreigner, stranger.. xD

After getting that card, I went and buy my very own EZ-Link sticker from a vendor and my sticker looks like this:

Sorry that it's mirrored. It's taken on the Photo Booth app on my Mac and for those who can't read mirrored words like Leonardo Da Vici can (Random Fact. Lol.) it says Little Miss Tidy, which I'm the total opposite of, btw. Hahaha..

It got me wondering, how will other people I know personalize their EZ-Link card whether they have or do not have one. Here goes my list:

Ee Ran - For some reason, maybe Snoopy (Because of your Facebook profile picture) or any music themed ones whenever you can get your hands on one. Or, one that shows Richard Clayderman.. xD (Ewww... :P )

Zhuoqi - I seriously don't know, even though you are my room mate.. :/ Hahaha! Maybe a sticker with an all-white background with nothing on it, since you like the color white so much! :P

Inka - Hmmm... Floral patterns? xD

Vanessa - HELLO KITTY, no doubt about that. :P

Zhi Hui - Ones with Japanese bands on it? Hahahaha..

Yihan - Hmmm... What do you like ah, Yihan? xD

Ling Wei - Anime stuff ones?

Yoon Voon - Keroro perhaps? Hahaha..

Xin Yi - Tare panda.. xD

Hui Ying - Kerokeropi, or any other cartoon frogs available..

Ze Xin - Naruto? xD Or a more childish option, Ben 10.. Lol. Any robotic ones..

Ze Liang - Superman, Spiderman, Ironman, Batman, what other man are there? Any comic super heros will do.

Xin Ying - Hmm.. Religious ones? LOL LOL LOL! xD Or ones which says, XOXO or Always in my heart? (Inside joke with Elaine, Evon and Kae Thong.. xD)

Elaine - Nightmare before Christmas! Or Despicable Me minions or Agnes. :P

Evon - Hmmm.. Despicable me minions??? Hahahaha.. Or Qoo, the little blue thing that you liked so much years ago.

Kae Thong - Michael Buble.. xD Or Glee?

Christian - Jetplanes, jetplanes and lots more jetplanes...

Maxine - A picture of me??? :P

I can't think of anymore right now... xD

- THE END -

SHOUT!

Every now and then, I will meet some people in my life where I would like to tell them to SHUT UP for a second, or 'Hey! Can you at play the piano softer? I feel sorry for the piano, you know? Because it hurts me to see it get hurt with all your banging.' Not really a rude manner, but in a 'Can-you-please-be-more-quiet?-I'm-trying-to-do-something-here' or 'Stop-seeking-attention-because-people-noticed-you-and just-didn't-want-to care' or 'Hey-turn-down-the-volume-a-notch-will-you' manner...

BUT because I have to be seen as someone who treats people with respect and manners, I just kept my mouth shut for most of the time. Not because I can tolerate the volume that is so loud that people miles away can hear you, but it's because I have to keep quiet in order not to offend you.

Some people, may seem to be older than most of us are, but they still act like they are a primary school kid! Shouting out the answer every time the teacher asks a questions (Even more annoying that Hermione Granger is when she does that), kept complaining about how cold is it to everybody as if people don't already know, having us chuckle at the lame jokes, asks stupidly simple questions that are really common sense and have never ending complains about how the food is cooked. Too oily, too little vegetables, too salty, too this, too that.... But, we just have to be patient with people like that.

In other cases, I would like to just shout out to people who had just wasted my time or just offended me. But instead, I just have to smile and chuckle nervously, saying "It's ok. It's alright. I'm fine with it." when I'm actually not... What I would like to say but can't is, "No! I'm not ok with that! How could you made me do this when I don't have to?" For example, recently, I was asked to help a ballet teacher accompany their dance exams which is in 2 weeks time, by playing the music given by them on the piano and the teacher, will of course pay me. Like I've mentioned in my previous post, it's because of that attractive pay that I decided to take the job but realized that I've bit off more than I can chew. So I've let go most of the grades that I play for and just focus on one grade, which is the higher grade ones and in which the teacher is more worried about. So I've practiced long and hard, trying to impress the teacher and myself at the same time by mastering the pieces which are not as easy, in a short period of time. Following the speed and learn to continue playing even when I messed it up. BUT (Sorry, there seem to be lots of 'but' in my post this time), the teacher just texted me today, saying, 'I've found another pianist to take your job as the exam pianist but you still have to play for the mock exam on Friday.' like I have not been practicing at all and screwed up the whole dance lesson when I play! But then again, because I have to treat people with respect and manners and won't be called a nuisance or a stuck-up, I again, just have to endure with it and 'Sure, okay. I'm fine with it.' leaving me with nothing but a $54 cheque, self-disappointment and being in doubt of my own music skills, after hours spent at the piano for the past 2 weeks to satisfy her needs of the ballet teacher. I won't say that it's a complete waste of my time as I had learnt a thing or two about ballet accompanying throughout the whole experience, but I would rather spend time doing more important stuff, like, Hmm... Gee, I don't know, school work, perhaps? My assignment was postponed because of this whole practicing for ballet accompaniment stuff and got a long lecture from my lecturer telling me that I've wasted 5 hours a day, doing nothing! D: Which also left me wondering, what DID I do for the 5 hours everyday? I don't remember staring at the ceiling, doing nothing at all for 5 hours.. Hmmm...

But hey, other than myself, I'm sure everyone out there at least had one of these moments mentioned above but didn't want to speak out because of our so called 'modesty' and 'manners'?

Nonetheless, after all my blabbering, I will still be who I am used to be. Someone who smiles, tolerates, nods or sometimes shakes my head in 'agreement' with things that I don't even agree on, because I was taught this way by myself so that no one is offended and everyone's happy. Unless things just HAD to be done the other way round, no excuses.

- THE END -

MICHAEL BUBLE'S CONCERT TONIGHT (in which I will miss)

Michael Buble will be having his concert here in the Singapore Indoor Stadium tonight!! And I am here, at home, eating Red Bean Ice cream potong and watching his concert on DVD to make up for it.. Stupid, yes I know.

Two years ago, I SWEAR that I almost flew to LA or London or even Germany to watch his concerts... Lol. But of course, this didn't happen. D:

So I just hope here that he comes back again SOON. Hopefully by next year. And by then, I'll be the first one in line to buy the tickets "fresh from the oven"...

Heres to lots of hot cup of milo and sweet stuff to help get me through tonight without sulking and sobbing...

30 hours in a day, please?

Hey, maybe this blogging thing might just work out after all! :D But still, no promises. Hahaha. Actually, I do enjoy this whole process of writing down how I feel after a long day and just let everything go here. It feels nice... :)

Again, another day had came and gone. Another day back from the long 23 (Miscalculated yesterday) station train ride from ballet accompaniment. I want more 30 hours in a day so that I can do more than just go about my daily, monotonous life everyday for the next 3 years to come. I haven't even been here for a year and I've already got sick of the way things work here... But anyway, it's for a better "future" and about learning to be independent.

Before I go on, I've thought of another word that begins with the letter "A" to add to my Dreadful "A" list: AUDITIONS for my Jazz Piano course. Coincidence? I think not! (Quoted from The Incredibles when Dash was called to the principal's office because he placed a tack on the teacher's chair) Hahahaha..

Moving on... Today, I had THREE classes of ballet accompaniment and it was no joke. The first was at school, which I came back to the teacher where I first accompanied for last semester. Her teaching style was very different from the previous one, which I think was better than the current one. The current one "dances" with her hands! Seriously. She rarely stands and dances with her feet, she just waves her hands about while counting the beats and saying the names of each moves in French, like I understand her, and she expects me to catch the beat and follow her.. == Ok. So I'm back with her for the rest of the semester. Patience is KEY! *Exhales...*

Second and third class was actually my "new" job I took from a friend as a favor, which is located at the 23rd stop from home. I just seriously hope that I didn't jeopardize their ballet class.. :X But honestly, how on Earth am I supposed to learn, what, 60 songs, up to the speed that they want (which is like 180 beats in a bar!) in less than a week to help accompany examinations 2 weeks later?! I am SO not exaggerating, which I wish I was. But I think it's partially my fault as well. Firstly, it was a JOB, that means I can get paid for it = more income! But less time on my hands. Secondly, I took up 2 ballet exams accompaniment from different places, which adds up to 6 books of ballet exams music to play, in a week. And it was too much, darling! Too much! (Quoted from The Incredibles when Edna was talking to Mr. Incredible? I think?) Sorry... I don't know why these quotes keep popping up into my head. But to sum it all up to a sentence, I bit off more than I can chew and I will NEVER do it again! D: I just CANNOT handle the pressure! I feel more pressured than the dancers going for exams! What if I go wrong?! What I stopped halfway through the song?! What if I played the music too fast or too slow?! What if they can't catch my speed?! What if...?

Okay. So 2 weeks is all I've got! For the sake of the extra pocket money, I'll fight to get it right! (Hey, it rhymes!)

Like I've said in my previous post, I'm currently reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert as my loyal companion during lonely, long train rides, together with my beloved iPod to keep my ears occupied as well. The book was more interesting than I expected it to be! It made me want to, maybe, stay in Rome for A YEAR! :D I want to visit their morning market everyday at 7am, roam along the old, narrow streets, eat gelato all day long, watch beautiful Italian men walk by me (Lol! I just took that phrase right out of the book), eat pasta and olive oil everyday, choose and pick my favourite fountain in the city, learn the beautiful language (or should I say "sign language" because of all the gestures with their hands when they talk), go to every museum there is in the city at least once a month and most of all, I want to learn to be "the masters of il bel far niente and l'arte a'arrangiarsi!" It means the sweet beauty of doing nothing and the art of making something out of nothing. "The art of making a feast out of simple ingredients, or a few gathered friends into a festival". And let's just hope my dreams will come true.. :)

Speaking of Italy, my LUCKY pals from choir back home in Malaysia will be going to VENICE this coming April for a choral competition! If I weren't to come to Singapore to study, I'd be one of the lucky ones to visit the City of Gondolas with just paying RM2000!!! :( But then again, my lecturer said that the choir that I am in now is planning to go on a trip to PRAGUE, in the CZECH REPUBLIC! Yay! But wait. What about the expenses? Who's paying? I don't have that much money. D: Ohhh... And this is partly why I took the 2 jobs, which now I kinda regretted. :(

Oh yeah. I almost forgot to mention that my school's choir performed in this afternoon's lunch time concert. My lecturer/conductor wanted to "show the Head of Contemporary Music what Pop and Jazz songs should be about and could be so beautiful", but then he conveniently went to Germany for a little trip or concert. Oh well. The hard times that we've put into our choir lessons, sort of, paid off. Lol.

Hopefully, I'll continue posting more entries but also have the time to do my school work.

Ps: I'll be Salsa-ing this Thursday! D: *Gasps!* I know, right? Me?! SALSA?! *Scoffs!*

Sorry for the LONG delay!

Hi blogger pals,

I'm not sure if there will be anyone who will be interested in reading it, but I just want to state here that the reason I decided to continue blogging is because I need a creative outlet in expressing my thoughts and pour everything out on "paper". Oh yeah, and also, I'm glad to announce that I've subscribed for a Mobile Broadband so that I can go online (and download movies and what not) at the "comfort" of my own home! Weeeee....

Okay, so I've just got back home from a hour long train ride from temporary "work"... Imagine taking the train from this end of the line, to the other end of the line. 22 stations, to be more exact. I don't know why, but I can take it when I have to sit through a car ride which is an hour long, but I can't really stand the fact that I have to take an hour long train ride with a train full of strangers, waiting for the little green LED lights to slowly blink off, 22 stations time, if you know what I mean.

Maybe it's because I can't sit comfortably on a cushion seat and sing along to the music playing on the radio to my heart's content, like when I do back home in Malaysia. Call me a spoilt brat all you want, but I just don't like the way things works around here in Singapore. Everyday at the MRT station, we get in line to tap our cards to take the train to our destinations. It feels like we're checking in to some army-based training or being manipulated like string puppets. Lol. Then in the train, lucky people get to doze off on their seats, while "unlucky" people who aren't so "kia su" in getting seats, like myself (hahaha), have to stand, most probably, throughout the journey. If you are early enough to get the FREE morning paper (They actually give out free papers!), you can just stuck your nose behind it, like most of the people do.

Or maybe you can even "exercise your thumb" by browsing through your iPhone, checking the latest Tweet, Facebook status, e-mail or whatever. Seriously speaking, 80% of Singaporeans OWNS an iPhone. No matter that you are old, young, local or a foreign worker, for example, Indians from India. 15% uses the Blackberry, and the remaining 5% just falls into the "Other phones" category.

Every morning, the train will be so packed, the you can even look at other people's text while they are texting. LOL. Not to be a "KPC" or anything, but I just can't help it! The distance is just "too close for comfort".

This 2 months will be BUSY like ___________ (Fill in the blanks.) There will be assessments, assignments, accompaniments and, any more words starting with the letter "A"? No, I guess not. The dreadful "A"s..

I just finished reading "The Undomestic Godess" by Sophie Kinsella. Not a bad read, but I'm surprised at my current "reading speed".

Two years before this, I can finish a 900 page Harry Potter novel in a week. Last year, I can finish a 600 page novel in 3 weeks. Now, I can only finish reading a 400 page novel in a month or MORE!!!! (Ps: I've only finished 1 out of 3 books that I bought LAST AUGUST.) Shame of me... :(

So, I'm currently reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I have to say that I skipped the whole wanting to get divorced, crying in the bathroom part to go to the start of the 1 year holiday in Italy! Lol... I am too depressed to read something as depressed as this is and also, it is obviously none of my concern to know how her divorce case went. I just wanted to read about her travel journals and dream that I could be like her someday. You know, not the part where her life is so messed up, but the part where she can travel the World. Lol.

Then after this, I plan to read the "Time Traveler's Wife" or "My Life in France", if my current hectic time schedule allows me to.

Wish me luck! :D

Ps: The next blogpost may only 'appear' after quite a period of time. No promises.. :X But I'll try my best.

I'll see you again, friend..

I was at my school's Welcome Dinner when I had the urge to SMS Ling Wei telling her that I'll be back in Malaysia to maybe celebrate her birthday with her, if she is holding a party this year too like the previous years.

But the she told me that she had, but it was canceled. Something happened in the family, she said.

I didn't know it would be so serious.

So I said, Ohh. But if you wanna meet up then we can because I'll be going back anyway.

She replied, If we were to meet up, it will be a total opposite of a happy meeting. Losing someone was never so painful.

I was shocked. Then I said, What's wrong?

And I wished her next text will be just a joke, but it's not. She said, Ian.. He's already in Heaven.

Tears were already whirling up in my eyes when I saw that sms. My emotions just plunged into a deep pit and I almost cried. But since I was still at a school party, I held back. There were moments that I looked at the sky, thinking he's there looking down at me. I asked him, Why did you have to leave so soon? I haven't even got a chance to meet you this year.

I can still remember the first time seeing you. Ling Wei was at 'Ah Khoo's Tuition' downstairs and I was yet to join them during that time. And I was to stay over at her place with Chua and YYV to study for PMR, I think. So I had to stay upstairs and there you were, on Youtube listening to Jay Chou's songs. I was trying to like Jay Chou too so that we could have something in common to talk about. We talked for 2 hours, laughing all the way. Your laughter was contagious and your personality was cheerful and outgoing. Ling Wei said she could even hear our laughter from downstairs.. =') That's how we became friends..

When Chiho came, you were her tour guide. We played the board game the whole night, which I was obviously not very good at because I cannot even remember the name of the game.. XD Then we played cards and snapped pictures. Coming to think of it, it was exactly 2 years ago when you came pick me up together we Ling Wei and Chiho to bring me over to your place for a sleepover. You brought Chiho to Bandar Baru to buy a cake from Bee's and even bought a Ramli Burger and recommending it to Chicho about how good it is.

The next day, you drove us to Monash, Sunway for Ling Wei's Japanese Hosting Program's interview. On the way there, you helped Chiho recite her lines for her school play by letting her say her lines and you replying a completely different line jokingly. We all laughed till our sides hurt! We hung out at the library, joking and taking pictures.

After our SPM, we went to Ling Wei's house for a sleep over. I hung out with you a little by reading your Korean text books and quarreled about some Korean phrases that you learned and the ones that I knew. I joked about your ugly Korean handwriting and I even said, 'Haiyah, next time you teach me lah.' But I didn't got a chance to learn some phrases from you. Toyed with your Er Hu for a while and used your computer for a while to chat on MSN and you let me see your new Jay Chou album which I sarcastically said, 'Cheh~ Not nice one...' Then you played some songs on your PC and sang along to the songs. And that was the last time I saw you.

A few months ago, you chatted with me on MSN for a little while about your trip to Korea, your trip to Indonesia. You asked, 'Wei, when can I see you again?' I wished I said, 'Let's meet up soon!'But I just said, 'I don't know oh... I'll meet you when I meet Ling Wei lah..'

I wished the plan to go to the board games restaurant with Ling Wei was on in July. At least I got to see you the for the last time before you leave us so suddenly.

I wished that I accept the offer to go to your last birthday party last year. But instead, I just shrugged off the offer by saying that I don't really know your friends.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to make it earlier to go see you for the last time these few days. By the time I reached your house, the casket was already closed. ='(

I remember borrowing you my whole collection of my own burnt cd of songs that I liked with the Puppy cd case. The zip on the case was already a little faulty and so, eventually it broke and it wasn't your fault that it broke. But you bought a new Cow cd case for me which I still use now. I'll be thinking of you everytime I see it now. =(

I'll be thinking of you now everytime I hear Jay Chou's song on the radio or anywhere else. I'll be thinking of your singing voice and you trying to imitate his rapping style, and smile. I believe that you are now doing the same thing, singing and bringing joy to the people you see, now in Heaven. Try to take some singing lessons from the Angels while you are there so I will be impressed by your singing the next time I see you.. =P

You really were a great, supportive brother and Ling Wei is so lucky to have you as her brother. The apple of everyone's eye. The person who brings laughter and joy to those around you.

I am honored to have you as a friend and having a chance to befriend you in this life.

I'll see you again. Rest in peace, my friend... You will always be remembered by me in my hearts, forever and always... Be sure to look down on us from Heaven some time because I will be talking to you when I look at the skies every now and then.. I promise that this will the last time I'll be crying for you..

Good-bye.